Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
its liver damage thursday
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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