Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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