3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
