He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
