Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
