All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
