I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
