If i come over, it means nothing
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
