I will die if light touches me.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Acid is not a monday night drug
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
