Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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