if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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