i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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