fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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