WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
