guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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