Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
