I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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