sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He passed out mid-signature
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
