Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You took a bar mat shot.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
sick fucks of a feather flock together
being pregnant is like rehab
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
