if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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