butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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