That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
