the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
