youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
