Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
