YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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