Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I want to make a zoo with you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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