I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
