yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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