Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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