I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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