hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
