my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
