dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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