how can u be prego again
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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