My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
