WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
