there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
