these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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