sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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