am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
