Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
