I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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