Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
