obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
