that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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