Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
