well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
