I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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