VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
